Grumpy Old Man Mourns Passing of Other Grumpy Old Man

I thought it was worth noting that we lost a great gift today. Former Los Angeles television newsman Ralph Story passed away at age 86. If you never saw Ralph, well, he managed to be both Mike Wallace and Huell Howser for LA in the 60s & 70s. Warren Olney, another LA treasure, not unexpectedly did a wonderful job of summarizing what made Ralph great: “He was able to use humor and irony to make a serious point, something you virtually never see on television anymore…. [His] attitude of amused detachment could transmit devastating critiques and probing analyses without being harsh or mean-spirited, much less boring. He made serious journalism a pleasure to watch."

Of course, that was when there was serious journalism on local newscasts. That, and now Ralph himself, have joined his own list http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0325841/, of “things that aren’t here anymore.”

Totally unconnected sidenote on beer

I’m English by lineage… one summer when I obviously had nothing else to do, I traced the family line back to Northamptonshire, England, mid-1500’s. So, yes, I’ve got some pride in my heritage.

But the English drink their beer warm. Good God, what an awful idea. Drinking unrefrigerated beer is like watching a VH-1 reality show; every minute, you’re reminded “this is just wrong.”

Of course, you can help the beer situation by just burying that baby in some ice for a few minutes. I’m not sure what can be done for Christopher Knight.

From today’s news, Sept 26, 2006!

Gibson's Promotion of New Movie Leaves Jews Baffled

Director’s cut of “Passion” has Jesus come down off cross and beat Pharisees senseless with a bottle of Tequila, then drive away in Lexus LS 430. 

Have You or Your Kids Had Problems With Rubber Clogs?

You know, if you’d be more careful what you put down it, it wouldn’t clog.

Dallas Cowboys’ Terrell Owens In Suicide Attempt

What, he just realized Drew Bledsoe is quarterbacking this team?

Air Force Jet Wins Battle in Congress

Multiple strafing runs wear down beleaguered and outgunned legislators.

For the Third Time, a Jury Fails to Convict Gotti

This just in: Most humans still averse to having kneecaps broken.

Source of Spinach Taint Located

“I didn’t do nuthin’ wrong,” claims farm owner A. W. Blutto.

Secretary Vows to Improve Results of Higher Education

“Anticipating at least six more years of a GOP-led government, we need to prepare graduates for the real American economy,” said Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings. “We’re therefore cutting English, literature, and philosophy, and requiring 12 units of Computer Game Beta Testing and Bedpan Changing. The foreign language requirements will also be reconfigured so that each graduate will be tested on their ability to say ‘Welcome to Wal-Mart’ in 12 different languages.”

And finally, on the sad state of American manufacturing,

Wagoner Says GM Can Save Itself but Open to Alliances

Of course, why didn’t we think of this before!